If you're going to follow me on this journey, I guess it's only polite to let you a little bit more about myself and my life leading up to this moment.
I was born Emily Jane of the House Helwig, first of my name, on February 11, 1992 in Buffalo, NY. (I also just started Game of Thrones. It's been a major part of my life this past week. And by major part I mean I've pummeled through 2 seasons already. Major procrastination.) I lived a pretty regular life in the lower apartment of a duplex until my family moved to a suburb of WIlliamsville, where I live now with my parents. I have two half sisters, and two nieces. I also have a fish. His name is Turk.
I think the first thing worth knowing about me is that I am not very serious. Some say I have the heart of a child, and the brain of a tween. I've also been told by a co-worker that she'd "like to spend a day in my brain. But only one day."
In lieu of listing everything about me in boring paragraphs, I went and found an old MySpace quiz to fill out. Remember those? What better way to use a social networking site than to talk about yourself.
Here it goes:
1. Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
I'd say, "Grandma! What are you doing!"
2. Have you cuddled with someone you weren't dating?
what do you think i am? some kind of slut? -- I kept this answer from the original quiz taker, my friend Holly. I thought it was gold.
3. How's your hair looking?
Like it needs to be cut AKA Khaleesi length
4. Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
Chelsea Handler's stylist. Get it together, girl.
5. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do?
Doodle. Usually I write my name 80-90 times, then switch to drawing jellyfish.
6. Where were you at noon yesterday?
Kohl's, where I knocked 20 bras off of a rack and had to pick them all up. #blessed
7. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Are Ben and JLo still friends?
8. Will you be in a relationship in the next week?
This is such a classic MySpace quiz question it's insane. But no
9. Who was the last girl you talked to?
My mom. About air mattresses.
10. What was the last thing you watched on the TV?
Oh, the days before Netflix and HBOGo. On my computer, the Game of Thrones season two finale. On actual television, The Tonight Show.
11. Do you think a lot?
Another classic. Yes.
12. Whens your birthday?
February 11.
13. Do you have any pets?
A fish named Turk. I used to have a fish named Charles but he passed on.
14. Have you laughed at a joke that wasn't funny?
My job title is basically Server and Fake Laugh Extraordinaire at The Park Country Club of Buffalo
15. Caused someone major embarrassment?
Only myself. I read somewhere once that if you embarrass yourself in front of a group of people, they generally will end up liking you. I think that's true based on the sheer number of times I've done this
16. Have you bitten someone?
No...
17. Have you skipped school to get out of a test?
My 8th grade MySpace self would have said no. But my post-grad self says only to extend paper deadlines.
18. Are you scared of spiders?
Was NBC stupid for canceling Smash? DUH
19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
I'd love to go back to high school with the same brain I had now! How different high school would be if you didn't care what anyone thought of you
20. What did you last buy?
An amazing burger for lunch. And a necklace from Target
21. What’s irritating you right now?
That I committed to doing this quiz
22. Are you listening to music right now?
Yes! The newest tunes on Spotify. Only drawback is there's no Taylor Swift.
23. What is the last movie you saw in theaters?
Into the Woods. Loved the cast, disliked the movie.
24. Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
Joan Rivers. RIP, my plastic angel.
25. Are you jealous of someone?
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's assistants
26. What last made you laugh the hardest?
Melissa McCarthy's outtakes from This is 40. I watch them once a week.
27. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
"Once in a lifetime means there's no second chance.
So I believe that you and me should grab it while we can."
- Troy Bolton, High School Musical
28. What color are your eyes?
Blueish gray.
29. Spell your name without vowels:
Ml Hlwg
Or sometimes, Mly Hlwg
30. Favorite Vacation?
I'd have to say Italy. But Cancun is a close second.
31. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
Chapstick and a million dollars.
32. What is your favorite scent?
Fresh baked cookies
33. Who has the same phone as you?
Literally everyone in the first world. #iPhone
34. Do you read your horoscope?
I LOVE dramatically reading people's horoscopes to them.
35. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
I received a pearl necklace for my 16th birthday that I keep locked up in a jewelry case. It's the Sleeping Beauty of my jewelry collection.
36. Myspace or Facebook?
Twitter?
37. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
Math. So naturally, I became a journalist.
38. Do you have Verizon?
YES they rob us blind monthly
39. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
Usually anyone that's Jimmy Fallon or Chris Hemsworth or Sam Hunt
40. Favorite Song?
This is the hardest question ever asked. I'll just say anything Taylor Swift.
41. Do you like to sing at all?
Shower singing is basically my lifeblood
42. Dream Job?
Late night talk show host! Or a writer for a late night talk show.
43. Know any other languages?
Un poco español. But like that sentence is it.
44. Who has the same birthday as you?
Jennifer Aniston! Also the R&B singer Brandy. And Whitney Houston died on my birthday.
45. Ever met anyone famous before?
One time I met Melissa McCarthy and she was an angel. I also met the entire Hough family (of DWTS fame) and interviewed David O. Russell.
46. Do you want to be famous one day?
I want to be the amount of famous where like 1,000 or so people from around the country enjoy the things I say.
47. Any Pet Peeves?
When people ruin the endings of movies and TV shows.
48. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Olaf, from Frozen. He's my spirit animal.
49. Last thing you cooked?
That microwaved chocolate chip cookie.
50. What is your dream car?
A G-Wagon. Adopt me, Kardashians.
51. What are your hobbies?
My hobbies include watching lots of Netflix on-demand television, doing crossword puzzles, and listening to music.
52. What's your favorite season?
Awards season.
53. What are your plans for tomorrow?
Looking at sleeper sofas. It's a tough life looking for furniture to fit in a shoebox apartment
I was born Emily Jane of the House Helwig, first of my name, on February 11, 1992 in Buffalo, NY. (I also just started Game of Thrones. It's been a major part of my life this past week. And by major part I mean I've pummeled through 2 seasons already. Major procrastination.) I lived a pretty regular life in the lower apartment of a duplex until my family moved to a suburb of WIlliamsville, where I live now with my parents. I have two half sisters, and two nieces. I also have a fish. His name is Turk.
I think the first thing worth knowing about me is that I am not very serious. Some say I have the heart of a child, and the brain of a tween. I've also been told by a co-worker that she'd "like to spend a day in my brain. But only one day."
In lieu of listing everything about me in boring paragraphs, I went and found an old MySpace quiz to fill out. Remember those? What better way to use a social networking site than to talk about yourself.
Here it goes:
1. Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?
I'd say, "Grandma! What are you doing!"
2. Have you cuddled with someone you weren't dating?
what do you think i am? some kind of slut? -- I kept this answer from the original quiz taker, my friend Holly. I thought it was gold.
3. How's your hair looking?
Like it needs to be cut AKA Khaleesi length
4. Anyone you would like to get things straight with?
Chelsea Handler's stylist. Get it together, girl.
5. When you're bored in class, what do you usually do?
Doodle. Usually I write my name 80-90 times, then switch to drawing jellyfish.
6. Where were you at noon yesterday?
Kohl's, where I knocked 20 bras off of a rack and had to pick them all up. #blessed
7. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
Are Ben and JLo still friends?
8. Will you be in a relationship in the next week?
This is such a classic MySpace quiz question it's insane. But no
9. Who was the last girl you talked to?
My mom. About air mattresses.
10. What was the last thing you watched on the TV?
Oh, the days before Netflix and HBOGo. On my computer, the Game of Thrones season two finale. On actual television, The Tonight Show.
11. Do you think a lot?
Another classic. Yes.
12. Whens your birthday?
February 11.
13. Do you have any pets?
A fish named Turk. I used to have a fish named Charles but he passed on.
14. Have you laughed at a joke that wasn't funny?
My job title is basically Server and Fake Laugh Extraordinaire at The Park Country Club of Buffalo
15. Caused someone major embarrassment?
Only myself. I read somewhere once that if you embarrass yourself in front of a group of people, they generally will end up liking you. I think that's true based on the sheer number of times I've done this
16. Have you bitten someone?
No...
17. Have you skipped school to get out of a test?
My 8th grade MySpace self would have said no. But my post-grad self says only to extend paper deadlines.
18. Are you scared of spiders?
Was NBC stupid for canceling Smash? DUH
19. Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
I'd love to go back to high school with the same brain I had now! How different high school would be if you didn't care what anyone thought of you
20. What did you last buy?
An amazing burger for lunch. And a necklace from Target
21. What’s irritating you right now?
That I committed to doing this quiz
22. Are you listening to music right now?
Yes! The newest tunes on Spotify. Only drawback is there's no Taylor Swift.
23. What is the last movie you saw in theaters?
Into the Woods. Loved the cast, disliked the movie.
24. Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?
Joan Rivers. RIP, my plastic angel.
25. Are you jealous of someone?
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's assistants
26. What last made you laugh the hardest?
Melissa McCarthy's outtakes from This is 40. I watch them once a week.
27. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
"Once in a lifetime means there's no second chance.
So I believe that you and me should grab it while we can."
- Troy Bolton, High School Musical
28. What color are your eyes?
Blueish gray.
29. Spell your name without vowels:
Ml Hlwg
Or sometimes, Mly Hlwg
30. Favorite Vacation?
I'd have to say Italy. But Cancun is a close second.
31. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
Chapstick and a million dollars.
32. What is your favorite scent?
Fresh baked cookies
33. Who has the same phone as you?
Literally everyone in the first world. #iPhone
34. Do you read your horoscope?
I LOVE dramatically reading people's horoscopes to them.
35. Do you have any expensive jewelry?
I received a pearl necklace for my 16th birthday that I keep locked up in a jewelry case. It's the Sleeping Beauty of my jewelry collection.
36. Myspace or Facebook?
Twitter?
37. What was or is your favorite subject in school?
Math. So naturally, I became a journalist.
38. Do you have Verizon?
YES they rob us blind monthly
39. What type of boy or girl do you usually fall for?
Usually anyone that's Jimmy Fallon or Chris Hemsworth or Sam Hunt
40. Favorite Song?
This is the hardest question ever asked. I'll just say anything Taylor Swift.
41. Do you like to sing at all?
Shower singing is basically my lifeblood
42. Dream Job?
Late night talk show host! Or a writer for a late night talk show.
43. Know any other languages?
Un poco español. But like that sentence is it.
44. Who has the same birthday as you?
Jennifer Aniston! Also the R&B singer Brandy. And Whitney Houston died on my birthday.
45. Ever met anyone famous before?
One time I met Melissa McCarthy and she was an angel. I also met the entire Hough family (of DWTS fame) and interviewed David O. Russell.
46. Do you want to be famous one day?
I want to be the amount of famous where like 1,000 or so people from around the country enjoy the things I say.
47. Any Pet Peeves?
When people ruin the endings of movies and TV shows.
48. Do you have a favorite cartoon character?
Olaf, from Frozen. He's my spirit animal.
49. Last thing you cooked?
That microwaved chocolate chip cookie.
50. What is your dream car?
A G-Wagon. Adopt me, Kardashians.
51. What are your hobbies?
My hobbies include watching lots of Netflix on-demand television, doing crossword puzzles, and listening to music.
52. What's your favorite season?
Awards season.
53. What are your plans for tomorrow?
Looking at sleeper sofas. It's a tough life looking for furniture to fit in a shoebox apartment
Why were quizzes always an odd number of questions? Thank heavens we all collectively decided to retire MySpace.
XOXO,
Gossip Girl
XOXO,
Gossip Girl